Filter Sold Separately

When our youngest child was an infant, he babbled like a typical baby, but when he became a toddler, he made strange guttural sounds that only we understood as words. I worried about his hearing, as he pointed to things and said, "Gung gung." People told me not to worry since he had an older sister that was very verbal and understood his caveman communication. I was still concerned at how he sort of just grunted through his days. By the age of three, just when I was ready to call for a speech evaluation, Brennan went from one word commands to speaking in sentences in a two week period of time. It's like all the words stored in his mind released at once and unlocked the mystery behind his slow to speak brain.

Four years later, those words are still flowing out of his mouth and there is no stopping him now! In fact, Brennan is infamous for telling people the food they just made tastes weird or that the haircut they just gave him looks terrible. Most days, I have to remind myself that I ever prayed for those sentences to come. I now find myself praying for Brennan to develop a new skill: that internal thought process that enables him to think, "Don't say that...that is inappropriate...that could embarrass someone (namely your parents)" before he speaks.

I often compare this way of communicating to an unfiltered air conditioning unit. Whatever "air" develops in Brennan's mind, pops out the vent without being filtered for the listener. Like when he over shared with my friend one day and said, "I like to take showers because I don't have to go to the bathroom first, I just pee while I am showering." Or when we were at a large party this weekend, the pizza man came with 8 pizzas, and Brennan exclaimed to the host, "Wow! That's a lot of pizza! How much did all of this cost?"

Fortunately, he just turned 7, so most of the time people laugh and chalk up these unfiltered comments to childish behavior. Other times, they are not so funny, though, like the other day when a teacher asked him if it was a good idea that he put his bike helmet in the trash can and he snapped, "It's MY helmet." Or when another teacher told him he would have to pull a "not following directions" card and he authoritatively corrected her, saying, "Um, Ms. Martin*, they're called, 'please follow directions'cards." After these two incidents in school, he is learning that not talking back makes for easier days with teachers. Signs of progress? Perhaps a thin filter is developing?

In some ways, I hope Brennan's filter does not get too thick. I would like him to use his bold personality for good and I believe his ability to verbalize his thoughts can be an asset one day. I also enjoy this lack of filter when it comes to hearing Brennan unabashedly express his emotions. Like last night, when we took a long walk together and he looked at the sky, commenting, "Mom, look at the sun in the clouds...it looks like Heaven...when I see it, it makes my eyes cry a little." Or when he was sick last week and looked at me with those big brown eyes and said, "Mom, I love you. Thank you for taking care of me."

Whether it is a childish comment, a rebellious remark, or an expression of love, there is a deep honesty in Brennan that I cherish. I am thankful for my child's gift of gab and I have hope for the future purpose behind this answer to prayer!

*name of teacher has been changed
**photo: Brennan, trying on his Pops' glasses at the age of 6